(Random rants in air-sick pants...US-India flights : Where anything can begin)
The cow is a quadraped. It had 2 legs and then it started throwing a rant and started printing out essays exercising exceptional mind control thus obtaining two more. They were very oddly placed though. One on the frontish left and the other on the extreme backside right. To be fair, they might have been equally oddly placed to begin with. It kept falling to its side and rolling over but that is no fair excuse. Some say that might have justified it's use of arm cutting off related blackmail, but I maintain we should cut those bullock bollocks off. They might ask for wings next and we all know what happens when cows fly. They make for really poor jokes! It is gaussianly worse when they suffer from dysentery and have single horned unicorn super powers. Some religions worship the cow but after a tehelka expose we suspect that might have been a long wounded political nexus. The cow is quite large. That is certainly what a dwarf ant would say. On a related note, dwarf ants are protected by law. This is not the first kind of fiendish fetish Jude Law has been known to possess. Even some flights and some more buildings are allergic to the number 13. The people on the 14 th would be foolish not to know which row or floor they are actually at. Cows are believed to be behind this fad. It may be noticed that mad cow disease has exactly 13 letters in it. So does Jude Law fetish. If the cow would have had a Facebook page it would have had a few friends. Most of us just like it dead. Killing the said facebook page would get far many more likes. Apparently some chicks dig chewing cud. It is a mystery however how that got buried in the first place. The chicks may also be chewing cud while digging. The reported conditions are most definitely ambiguous, but the one thing we know for certain is that the chicks were unsuccessful in their possibly nefarious motives by the heroic warriors from Kentucky. It should have been apparent by now that I don't have the slightest clue as to how to end this essay on cows. I guess this shall end, when, you, my teacher award me the three short of maximum marks possible on this piece. Put in the remaining three marks on the main sheet of paper and reattach the piece of paper you previously preciously marked to the aforementioned main sheet. I must sincerely warn you though; your mindless compliance of my spatially and temporally remote instructions doesn't bode too well for your future prospects as a hopeful non victim of more notorious crimes. The cows seem to have already taken control of you. An essay on cows seems to be something a cow would derive pleasure from. I cannot however rule out you being a cow either; you know with the horns, large ears, long face, attribute of being made of flesh, rubbery skin, associated genitals and all, it sure could be misleading at times. The only thing saving you the misplaced identity might well be, you know, your small, and I mean really comparatively small ermmm... I don't know how to put this sensitively..... ribs. You wouldn't make for a good meal.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Rime of the ancient coder
This was nearly a year ago and entirely impromptu. The only gaps in between were the dastardly interceptions of real work. Any obscenities and rude emotions expressed were purely momentary and probably not entirely temporary. As written down to a friend of mine.
"
While we are at rhymes, thought you might want to make fun of this impromptu (brag!!) piece of mine. The deleted lines are ones you shouldn't bother too much about.
me: hmm.....
4:17 PM it started with one little kid
and was happy with what he did
me: did he was to CRL join
4:18 PM little did he realise it will be a kick to the groin
brb
4:21 PM me: as she didnt let him continue
while everything turned a dark hue
4:22 PM he still persisted for it needed to be known
to all those young and indeed the grown
a BITSian mentor he would get, he was elated
me: so much more simple, so much abated
4:23 PM arre wait na, he shouted out to her
me: yeah so
4:24 PM arre wait na, he shouted out to her
me: but she wouldnt care, like she was suffering hay fever
so he continued nonetheless
as he pined for some sympathy, some caress
4:25 PM he was indeed in duress
that he couldnt have liked any less
4:26 PM
me: arre....thoda kuchh aur kaam
interrupted aayega poetry
ruk jaao
4:27 PM me: work excellent he had gotten
little did he know the mentor was rotten
4:28 PM a new algorithm to SPMV was found
it seemed so good so sound
4:29 PM implemented it on multiple threads, many more nodes
could hear the supercomputing angels singing odes
4:30 PM but what a bastard he turned out to be
the mentor you see
cared little for what was done
still thought he was the supercomputing hun
4:31 PM made stupid suggestions and expected them to be done
till a new CEO came along and with him had some fun
left with no position in the office was he
took out all his frustration on yours truly
for his entire team had disbanded and fled
4:32 PM while little kid alone, in his tutelage, bled
4:33 PM
4:34 PM me: like the earlier team members he too
wanted to flee or hide in the loo
4:35 PM the opportunity came along in a golden chariot
and he wasnt going to STFU like a little idiot
4:39 PM
------------------------------
18 minutes
4:57 PM me: Shrirang with whom he had lovely ideas discussed
who also at his mentor cussed
for he had suffered the same and escaped
those who couldnt had been thoroughly raped
4:58 PM both of them already had a decent rapport they shared
to think differently they dared
application sought, algorithm thought
CUDA and sorting were the selected lot
4:59 PM but then came one day, brought with it news, left him in a disarray
old mentor (ex-boss) wanted his will to stay
5:00 PM wrap up the project, submit a paper
not too much, can be done by child in a diaper
so he said and believed, for he was a prick you see
5:01 PM you can get all the results you want
from the team members who suffered my slant
wanted to get over with it soon and return to glory
5:02 PM he went to the disbanded ones and narrated his story
no results we have for you to take
run em again or some you fake
5:03 PM integrity, that bitch, prevented the latter
had he to do the hardwork and make it matter
somehow put together a seance and prayed to the Gods
5:04 PM somehow got some results and made a paper against all odds
glad he was the day he submitted
thought he had the devil outwitted
5:05 PM with no help, no support from his ex-boss, mentor whatever you say
written he had a logical beauty with results to stay
thought now he, nothing else would matter
5:06 PM get back to Shrirang, merry and chatter
no, it wasnt agreeable to the ex
his happiness he had sworn to vex
*hex
put my name in it and not shown me a draft
how dare you think of such a craft
5:07 PM said to his face he screw you, you waste my time
*scratch out he
i'd rather do it myself and save a dime
5:08 PM the logic to the mentor appealed, politely he said send me what you
yield
ok sir, and the matter was settled
5:09 PM or so he thought, for it was only half a battle battled
i dont think it should perform as you say
5:10 PM it should be much better, and i said no way
he persisted and crapped a lot
go back to the ex-members and ask if i'm hot
gross as was the idea itself
5:11 PM but into it i delved
(the switch from third to first
person is simply a concentration burst)
5:12 PM so, he went and he asked
screw him, too much in his delusions he has basked
5:13 PM we dont have time to spare
not that we at all care
but for you, o smart one, we might make an exception
we shall review everything since its inception
5:14 PM if the hot boss shouts some more
stick it up his behind and call him a whore
with some amount of assurance, now i returned
and into the chat screen to her, he burned
5:15 PM she asked onto him, what that bothers you
and he replied with a succint poetic blue
*thank you, thank you*
------------------------------
8 minutes
5:24 PM me: now are you convinced?
------------------------------
12 minutes
5:37 PM me: chal me leaving....so if you feel like dropping a penny or two
for the rime of the ancient coder, it ud make ye ol' man 'appy
"
While we are at rhymes, thought you might want to make fun of this impromptu (brag!!) piece of mine. The deleted lines are ones you shouldn't bother too much about.
me: hmm.....
4:17 PM it started with one little kid
and was happy with what he did
me: did he was to CRL join
4:18 PM little did he realise it will be a kick to the groin
brb
4:21 PM me: as she didnt let him continue
while everything turned a dark hue
4:22 PM he still persisted for it needed to be known
to all those young and indeed the grown
a BITSian mentor he would get, he was elated
me: so much more simple, so much abated
4:23 PM arre wait na, he shouted out to her
me: yeah so
4:24 PM arre wait na, he shouted out to her
me: but she wouldnt care, like she was suffering hay fever
so he continued nonetheless
as he pined for some sympathy, some caress
4:25 PM he was indeed in duress
that he couldnt have liked any less
4:26 PM
me: arre....thoda kuchh aur kaam
interrupted aayega poetry
ruk jaao
4:27 PM me: work excellent he had gotten
little did he know the mentor was rotten
4:28 PM a new algorithm to SPMV was found
it seemed so good so sound
4:29 PM implemented it on multiple threads, many more nodes
could hear the supercomputing angels singing odes
4:30 PM but what a bastard he turned out to be
the mentor you see
cared little for what was done
still thought he was the supercomputing hun
4:31 PM made stupid suggestions and expected them to be done
till a new CEO came along and with him had some fun
left with no position in the office was he
took out all his frustration on yours truly
for his entire team had disbanded and fled
4:32 PM while little kid alone, in his tutelage, bled
4:33 PM
4:34 PM me: like the earlier team members he too
wanted to flee or hide in the loo
4:35 PM the opportunity came along in a golden chariot
and he wasnt going to STFU like a little idiot
4:39 PM
------------------------------
18 minutes
4:57 PM me: Shrirang with whom he had lovely ideas discussed
who also at his mentor cussed
for he had suffered the same and escaped
those who couldnt had been thoroughly raped
4:58 PM both of them already had a decent rapport they shared
to think differently they dared
application sought, algorithm thought
CUDA and sorting were the selected lot
4:59 PM but then came one day, brought with it news, left him in a disarray
old mentor (ex-boss) wanted his will to stay
5:00 PM wrap up the project, submit a paper
not too much, can be done by child in a diaper
so he said and believed, for he was a prick you see
5:01 PM you can get all the results you want
from the team members who suffered my slant
wanted to get over with it soon and return to glory
5:02 PM he went to the disbanded ones and narrated his story
no results we have for you to take
run em again or some you fake
5:03 PM integrity, that bitch, prevented the latter
had he to do the hardwork and make it matter
somehow put together a seance and prayed to the Gods
5:04 PM somehow got some results and made a paper against all odds
glad he was the day he submitted
thought he had the devil outwitted
5:05 PM with no help, no support from his ex-boss, mentor whatever you say
written he had a logical beauty with results to stay
thought now he, nothing else would matter
5:06 PM get back to Shrirang, merry and chatter
no, it wasnt agreeable to the ex
his happiness he had sworn to vex
*hex
put my name in it and not shown me a draft
how dare you think of such a craft
5:07 PM said to his face he screw you, you waste my time
*scratch out he
i'd rather do it myself and save a dime
5:08 PM the logic to the mentor appealed, politely he said send me what you
yield
ok sir, and the matter was settled
5:09 PM or so he thought, for it was only half a battle battled
i dont think it should perform as you say
5:10 PM it should be much better, and i said no way
he persisted and crapped a lot
go back to the ex-members and ask if i'm hot
gross as was the idea itself
5:11 PM but into it i delved
(the switch from third to first
person is simply a concentration burst)
5:12 PM so, he went and he asked
screw him, too much in his delusions he has basked
5:13 PM we dont have time to spare
not that we at all care
but for you, o smart one, we might make an exception
we shall review everything since its inception
5:14 PM if the hot boss shouts some more
stick it up his behind and call him a whore
with some amount of assurance, now i returned
and into the chat screen to her, he burned
5:15 PM she asked onto him, what that bothers you
and he replied with a succint poetic blue
*thank you, thank you*
------------------------------
8 minutes
5:24 PM me: now are you convinced?
------------------------------
12 minutes
5:37 PM me: chal me leaving....so if you feel like dropping a penny or two
for the rime of the ancient coder, it ud make ye ol' man 'appy
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