Sunday, March 6, 2011

Rime of the ancient coder

This was nearly a year ago and entirely impromptu. The only gaps in between were the dastardly interceptions of real work. Any obscenities and rude emotions expressed were purely momentary and probably not entirely temporary. As written down to a friend of mine.
While we are at rhymes, thought you might want to make fun of this impromptu (brag!!) piece of mine. The deleted lines are ones you shouldn't bother too much about.

me: hmm.....
4:17 PM it started with one little kid
and was happy with what he did
me: did he was to CRL join
4:18 PM little did he realise it will be a kick to the groin
4:21 PM me: as she didnt let him continue
while everything turned a dark hue
4:22 PM he still persisted for it needed to be known
to all those young and indeed the grown
a BITSian mentor he would get, he was elated
me: so much more simple, so much abated
4:23 PM arre wait na, he shouted out to her
me: yeah so
4:24 PM arre wait na, he shouted out to her
me: but she wouldnt care, like she was suffering hay fever
so he continued nonetheless
as he pined for some sympathy, some caress
4:25 PM he was indeed in duress
that he couldnt have liked any less

4:26 PM
me: arre....thoda kuchh aur kaam
interrupted aayega poetry
ruk jaao
4:27 PM me: work excellent he had gotten
little did he know the mentor was rotten
4:28 PM a new algorithm to SPMV was found
it seemed so good so sound
4:29 PM implemented it on multiple threads, many more nodes
could hear the supercomputing angels singing odes
4:30 PM but what a bastard he turned out to be
the mentor you see
cared little for what was done
still thought he was the supercomputing hun
4:31 PM made stupid suggestions and expected them to be done
till a new CEO came along and with him had some fun
left with no position in the office was he
took out all his frustration on yours truly
for his entire team had disbanded and fled
4:32 PM while little kid alone, in his tutelage, bled

4:33 PM
4:34 PM me: like the earlier team members he too
wanted to flee or hide in the loo
4:35 PM the opportunity came along in a golden chariot
and he wasnt going to STFU like a little idiot

4:39 PM
18 minutes
4:57 PM me: Shrirang with whom he had lovely ideas discussed
who also at his mentor cussed
for he had suffered the same and escaped
those who couldnt had been thoroughly raped
4:58 PM both of them already had a decent rapport they shared
to think differently they dared
application sought, algorithm thought
CUDA and sorting were the selected lot
4:59 PM but then came one day, brought with it news, left him in a disarray
old mentor (ex-boss) wanted his will to stay
5:00 PM wrap up the project, submit a paper
not too much, can be done by child in a diaper
so he said and believed, for he was a prick you see
5:01 PM you can get all the results you want
from the team members who suffered my slant
wanted to get over with it soon and return to glory
5:02 PM he went to the disbanded ones and narrated his story
no results we have for you to take
run em again or some you fake
5:03 PM integrity, that bitch, prevented the latter
had he to do the hardwork and make it matter
somehow put together a seance and prayed to the Gods
5:04 PM somehow got some results and made a paper against all odds
glad he was the day he submitted
thought he had the devil outwitted
5:05 PM with no help, no support from his ex-boss, mentor whatever you say
written he had a logical beauty with results to stay
thought now he, nothing else would matter
5:06 PM get back to Shrirang, merry and chatter
no, it wasnt agreeable to the ex
his happiness he had sworn to vex
put my name in it and not shown me a draft
how dare you think of such a craft
5:07 PM said to his face he screw you, you waste my time
*scratch out he
i'd rather do it myself and save a dime
5:08 PM the logic to the mentor appealed, politely he said send me what you
ok sir, and the matter was settled
5:09 PM or so he thought, for it was only half a battle battled
i dont think it should perform as you say
5:10 PM it should be much better, and i said no way
he persisted and crapped a lot
go back to the ex-members and ask if i'm hot
gross as was the idea itself
5:11 PM but into it i delved
(the switch from third to first
person is simply a concentration burst)
5:12 PM so, he went and he asked
screw him, too much in his delusions he has basked
5:13 PM we dont have time to spare
not that we at all care
but for you, o smart one, we might make an exception
we shall review everything since its inception
5:14 PM if the hot boss shouts some more
stick it up his behind and call him a whore
with some amount of assurance, now i returned
and into the chat screen to her, he burned
5:15 PM she asked onto him, what that bothers you
and he replied with a succint poetic blue
*thank you, thank you*
8 minutes
5:24 PM me: now are you convinced?
12 minutes
5:37 PM me: chal me if you feel like dropping a penny or two
for the rime of the ancient coder, it ud make ye ol' man 'appy

No comments: